Look at me now…

In today’s fast-paced and results-driven world, success is often the lens through which society chooses to view individuals. "People only see you when you become successful" is a sentiment shared by many who have journeyed from obscurity to prominence. This reality reflects the human tendency to value outcomes over processes and results over efforts. But why does this phenomenon persist, and how should one navigate this dynamic? I have asked myself severally, seven days of the week, yet no answer.

Love, often idealized as unconditional and pure, can sometimes appear conditional in a world deeply influenced by material wealth. Many people feel disheartened by the perception that affluence, rather than character or values, dictates the depth of affection they receive. While this sentiment is not universal, it raises questions about the dynamics of love, relationships, and money. Many don’t love you, they love your money.

Success, in many societies, acts like a beacon that attracts attention. Whether in business, sports, art, or any other field, a visible accomplishment tends to command respect and admiration. For many, success serves as validation of one’s worth and capabilities. This often blinds people to the journey it took to get there – the struggles, sacrifices, and moments of doubt. The truth is, before someone achieves tangible results, their efforts may go unnoticed or undervalued. A musician practicing in obscurity, an entrepreneur brainstorming late at night, or a student pulling long hours are seldom celebrated until their hard work materializes in visible achievements.

Why Are Efforts Overlooked?

• Outcome-Driven Culture: Modern society thrives on metrics. Promotions, awards, wealth, and recognition are seen as proof of competence, leaving behind the nuanced process of growth and perseverance.
• Visibility Bias: Success brings visibility, making one’s story more accessible to others. Until then, the world remains unaware of the individual's dedication and resilience.
• Human Nature: People often connect more with results than with processes. An inspiring success story grabs attention because it offers a narrative with a clear beginning, middle, and victorious end.

The Pain of Being Overlooked:

For those striving toward their goals, the lack of acknowledgment during the process can be discouraging. The sense of isolation and invisibility can lead to self-doubt. However, understanding this societal pattern can help in shifting perspective:

• Focus on Personal Growth: Instead of seeking validation from others, shift your focus inward. Recognize and celebrate your milestones, no matter how small they seem.
• Find Your Circle: Not everyone will dismiss your efforts before success. Surround yourself with people who believe in and support your vision unconditionally.
• Embrace the Process: Trust that success will come when the time is right and let the journey shape you into a more resilient person.

What Happens After Success?

Interestingly, success often brings a new set of challenges. The same people who once ignored your efforts may start seeking proximity or celebrating your achievements without understanding the journey it took to get there. This can lead to feelings of resentment or mistrust.

The best way to navigate this is with humility and authenticity. Use your success as a platform to share your story, inspiring others to respect and appreciate hard work, even in its invisible stages. By doing so, you shift the culture toward valuing effort alongside results.

The Attraction of Wealth:

Money symbolizes security, comfort, and access to opportunities. It can amplify someone's desirability because it represents stability—one of the factors many people seek in a partner. For some, the pursuit of love becomes intertwined with financial expectations, creating a power dynamic where wealth serves as an unconscious benchmark for affection.

Social norms and media further exacerbate this. Luxury, glamor, and wealth are glamorized, portraying affluent lifestyles as synonymous with happiness and desirability. This narrative can skew people's priorities, leading them to equate financial success with personal worth and influence how they choose their romantic partners.

The expression "fair-weather lover" aptly describes those whose affection is conditional upon prosperity. These individuals may lavish attention during times of abundance but withdraw when finances waver. Such relationships often lack depth and are based more on convenience than emotional connection. Over time, this can leave individuals who were genuinely seeking love feeling disillusioned, questioning the authenticity of their bonds.

Root Causes of the Curse:

• Cultural Influences: In some cultures, wealth is directly tied to status and marriageability. Expectations to provide certain financial comforts push people to prioritize money in relationships.
• Economic Pressures: With rising costs of living, many view wealth as a necessity rather than a luxury. The pressures of modern society can make some relationships feel transactional, blurring the line between love and financial convenience.
• Lack of Self-Worth: For those with a "money over love" mentality, their self-esteem might stem from external validations, such as material gifts or luxuries, rather than mutual understanding and respect.

While stories of materialistic relationships dominate certain narratives, many genuine, enduring connections thrive without financial abundance. These relationships prioritize mutual respect, shared values, and emotional intimacy over superficial gains.

The Cure for the Curse:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Be upfront about what you seek in a relationship to avoid misunderstandings.
• Build Emotional Intimacy: A strong emotional foundation transcends material wealth and remains stable during challenges.
• Evaluate Intentions: Ask whether the affection and support received would persist regardless of financial status.
• Focus on Shared Growth: Building a life together is far more rewarding than simply relying on material means.

BETWEEN YOU AND I:

The belief that "they only love when you have money" might stem from real experiences, but it is not a universal truth. While money can influence perceptions and opportunities, love that lasts is rooted in something much deeper—shared experiences, mutual trust, and genuine care. Strive for connections where love is an outcome of compatibility, not commerce. Wealth may buy comfort, but only authenticity builds relationships that endure.

The adage that "people only see you when you become successful" doesn’t have to be a cynical observation. It can serve as a reminder of the value of perseverance. Rather than striving for visibility or external validation, aim to align your efforts with your passion and purpose. When success does come—and it will—it will be all the more fulfilling, knowing that it was earned through unseen dedication.

Success may shine the spotlight on you, but the real growth happens in the shadows where hard work and commitment reside. Let that be your reward. Nonetheless, never give up, if you fall, rise up! Yes, money or success can make even the blind to see you…

EMEKA CHIBUIKEM V. 🌟

GLOBAL SCHOOLS ADVOCATE 🌍 

X: @VICTORVIRI