27th of January 2021. 

My partner of 9 months broke up with me. I am trying to write this in the midst of my pain. I have decided to be absolutely truthful about how I am feeling and as long as this pain lingers I will keep writing it till I can feel no pain anymore. 

Forgive the maybe scattered nature of this emotion because I am writing what I am feeling as I am feeling it.  I am not a writer. I am a man in pains and this pain has no relief drug.

I am in the denial stage that this can't be happening. Something in my head keeps telling me that it is a joke and she is playing pranks on me. This is my first heart break story and I do not know how to handle this.

For years I have been playing the careful man game, not getting into relationships with all my heart. I was scared of going through a pain like this. I have had my fair share of rejections from females but the pain of rejection is one and definite but the pain of heartbreak is physical and compound. 

At this point, I can't seem to concentrate and write my codes because my hands are shaking, even still shaking as I write now.

For the First time, I told my sibling I am in a relationship. For the first time I confidently told my Uncle that I am in a relationship. I have never loved anyone as much as I have loved this girl. 

As a matter of fact, I am starting to include her plans in my own plans. Things are beginning to fall into place for me gradually and I was determined to take her along at all cost. I was told to keep my relationship life private and secure, I made sure of that and was ready to blow it up whenever she is ready. For the first time in my life, I really felt the emotion of loving someone deeply. 

I feel this inexplicable surge through my heart that it feels like a heart burn. I feel the surge of anger, sadness, pain, disappointment, confusion all at the same time because it just doesn't make sense to me. I am tempted to ask for closure on what the matter is.  We have had our fights but I made sure to squash it, talk it out and forget it. I had decided that as long as she didn't cheat or call this off, I was in full time. 

This pain is real and all means to escape it has proved abortive. I have heard and read about these things but I have never felt one. Now I have and it is not good, I have refused to shed a tear because its not death but this ......

Dear God, I was brutally honest in this. This is not good and I really need your help at this time...


Posted by UCsoft

7 thoughts on “MY BREAK UP JOURNEY”

  1. Damn bro... Be strong mehn. It will pass

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  2. The pain is real, but I assure you it gets better brother... There is no pace to the healing process as it happens individual, but we have quite a role to play in the process.. Personally, I recommend a change of environment, routines and a deliberate attempt to enjoy the visible blessings you can see.. You got this Chief!❤️

  3. It's painful and it happens to the best of us, even when we try our best to avoid it. People's life plans change all the time. So my dear, allow yourself to go though the process but try not to ignore your health because your are stillr important to your friends and family. Whatever you go through bear in mind that you would get through it and you are strong enough for it. With love

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