Dark Mode
  • Friday, 29 March 2024
SPARE KEYS AND IMPLICATIONS

SPARE KEYS AND IMPLICATIONS

Human relationships are very dynamic; intriguing and complicated, such that if you don’t take time to understand how it all works; you will be deluded in its affairs. This very understanding is the backbone of most human actions, inactions, reactions, attitudes and activities. It reflects in all we think, say, do, tolerate and act. You need to understand people before you relate with them. Although most times, it’s when relating with people that we actually get the privilege to know them; but still not understand them. Sincerely, you don’t need to stress yourself so hard to understand people because most times, the harder you try to understand people; the more delusional you become. Remember that sometimes, we equally fail to understand ourselves; that’s the simplified complex nature of human understanding.

Now, I’m sure you are lost in attempts to understand the nexus between the title above and the introduction of this article. Don’t worry yourself out; it’s part of the understanding process. The title itself “Spare Keys and Implications” is confusing amidst its complications. Yet, the message is crystal clear as the title. Calm down, you will get to the root of this message and its underlying implications. Spare key here is the same spare key you know. The spare keys to your apartment, establishment, property and your heart too; if you could lock it. As I continue, please don’t get me twisted and misunderstood; I’m not preaching wickedness and selfishness. I am only advocating that you think it through before you give out your spare key to anyone; those include your partner, family, relation, friend and colleague. Privacy is a key in itself, and nobody has a spare-life. Thus, giving out your spare keys equally means giving out your privacy.

Don’t quote me wrong. Most times, there are exceptions to this supposition; that’s why I place more emphasis on the thinking through part. Let me break it down for you: Giving out your spare key to anyone, regardless of the personality; is entrusting yourself, properties, privacy and convenience to that person. The very act of giving your spare key to someone, is the same as giving someone a direct access to you, properties and private moments. It is an act of trust. A complete belief that the person in question won’t harm nor inconvenience you. This is a crucial act in most relationships and friendships; sharing undocumented ownership with someone. Easy to start, but hard to stop.

Yes of course, none can give out spare keys to just anyone. It has to be your partner, family, friend or trusted colleague. But, have you ever spared some seconds to reflect on the long-run implications of giving your spare key to someone? What happens when there’s a conflict of interest between you people? How do you collect your spare key back? How subtle must you be in asking for your spare key back so that it doesn’t spark up hatred, quarrel or violence? These are very necessary questions to consider when attempting to share your spare key with someone, because the moment of this very act gives no room for actual thinking of the antecedent consequences. Still, you need to think it thoroughly through before venturing into this risky trusteeship act. Remember, spare keys are easy to give out, but very hard to collect back. Will you change locks? Lol!

In furtherance of the above, I’m going to use couples as a point of illustration in explaining the associated implications involved in giving out your spare key to someone. You know as the cliché goes “sexual relationships are more intense and sweeter in the beginning”. The intensity of the new found romance leaves no room to think some things through. Most times, the couple involved tend to lose their minds amidst the ecstasy of the new relationship. The new sparkling romance always motivate the new couple to stay together; next, they are moving in together. Sometimes, the one that has an abode or a better apartment will move the motion for the other person to move in with him/her. Moreover, it could start from gradual sleep-overs to gradual cohabitation. Either ways, keys must be shared. You may not be able resist when he/she persists.

Now, how do you handle this kind of situation? Would you resist the temptation of starting what you might not finish; that’s if you are conscious of what you’re doing? Don’t waste your energy thinking about it; you will have your answers when you see yourself in such facsimile situation. Moreover, experience remains the better teacher than google. But you don’t necessarily need the experience; that’s the essence of the sermon I’m preaching. Take your time in digesting this message constructively before you criticize. Things aren’t as you see nor how they seem. Some things are beyond your control, but you must first-of-all have self-control.

Remain calm, let me relay to you the antecedent implications; that’s the core message I want to pass. Equally important, I’m not emphasizing on the security aspect; for you are aware of that but it’s still important. On the other hand, I’m positing a case study whereby you are quick to give out your spare key to someone you claim to love. As the love fades away, the need to collect your spare key back shall arise. Then, you are confused on how to go about it, especially when there’s no case of unfaithfulness in your reasons. In a like manner, you could be madly in love when you gave your spare key to your partner. But as coincidence or its illusions may have it, you happen to fall out of love with your partner days, weeks, months or years later; and falling into the arms of another. Despite already being in love; when the joy you used to get from your partner’s presence starts to sour; the need for your private privacy shall rise with each passing day and night. Thus, you start being uncomfortable in your supposed place of comfort.

  • Whether or not you like it; if you don’t handle this crucial situation smartly and subtly, your frustrations will gradually graduate to aggressions. Worst still, you lose control of your coordination. Don’t tell me, you don’t still get it; for there’s no sleeping on this kind of bicycle. Imagine, if you hadn’t given out your spare key; the followings might be avoided: lie after lie on another lie till you get lost on your own lies. You start engineering unnecessary excuses, to be away from your own abode. You start patronizing hotel rooms, till you forget what your own room look like. In this case, all these dishonest frustrating travesties might have been avoided; if only you thought it through before giving out that your spare key. It is never late till you are late, you can always think everything through.

On the reverse, you can always deal with anything when it happens. There is nothing extra-ordinary that the ordinary eyes have never seen. Beware if you are amongst these categories of people, for you need to thoroughly think it through; before making the same mistakes. The followings can’t handle giving out their spare-keys for any reason:

  1. Most times, you value your private time more than being in privacy with someone.
  2. You are a bad commando; don’t want anyone trespassing your zone.
  3. It’s your apartment, but you aren’t the one paying for it.
  4. You want to be flexible, not yet ready for commitments.
  5. You find it hard letting your emotions out; can’t say you’re done when you’re done.
  6. You are dating but still want to explore other choices; the back-up options.
  7. You don’t even know the direction your relationship is leading.

Dearly beloved, it’s still necessary as it is important to think things through. You may likely not get involved in this kind of messy situation. I pray you don’t, but you could still be; for life remains a script. You can say no, and stand on it; than regrets and blames. Yes, you may seem wicked but better than being weak. If you can’t handle it, never start it. Likewise, don’t use this forum as an excuse to be wicked; for you can handle anything you start. It is about the person and the situation involved.

 

EMEKA CHIBUIKEM V✍️

X: @Victorviri

 

Comment / Reply From

Newsletter

Subscribe to our mailing list to get the new updates!